I’ve been going through some major changes in my life lately; changes that I never imagined I could go through all at once, or at least not at such close proximity. One of those changes was a result of a decision I had made; the decision to let go and pray to God for happiness. It was not easy, and I cannot say I was completely at rest when I took it. I had been wanting to do this for 8 months before actually going through with it. I owe my courage to the help of certain friends that were able to see the bigger picture that I could not see then. Anyway, that particular decision and the ones that followed, along with other circumstances have helped me realize a very important concept that I think all muslims – and probably non-muslims as well – know and understand, but I doubt that it plays but little part in their thoughts and feelings towards certain situations. The concept is as I like to call it “The All-Good Concept.”
We’ve all gone through difficult circumstances, and had to make decisions we are not certain of. Most of us pray “Istikhara” and hope for the best. Others, like how I used to be and still am sometimes, live in turmoil over whether or not they should take the decision in the first place. They are so afraid of the “what-if” that they forget how everything happens for a reason, and a good one too! Even when they finally make the decision and act upon it, they still wonder “was it the right thing to do?” and I do believe some never get a straight answer out of themselves. We live in a life where there is never time to think, or ponder on all implications. We also live in a life where there is always too much information for anyone; not necessarily a good thing as each piece of information, however irrelevant, gives room to more ideas, more decisions, and more implications. In the cases where there isn’t enough information, people panic and wonder and run around in circles because they are afraid of the blind spots they can’t predict. But even with all the information available, there will still be blind spots. There will always be something someone thinks is bad but it is actually good and vice versa “But it may happen that ye hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that ye love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, ye know not” [Al- Baqara 216]
“{وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ} [البقرة: 216]}”
These blind spots that we fear so badly are called fate!
I stopped writing for a minute, wanting so badly to jump to the next paragraph which I have not yet written, but I’m stopping myself. I want to tell my story before I jump to the conclusion I have always known but never embraced. So here I go! As I’ve previously mentioned, there was a certain life changing decision I’ve been pondering for close to 8 months. I asked everyone and anyone that could give me sound advice, and still I could not make that decision. I was too afraid to be wronging myself and other people, which was what I was accused of when I finally announced it. It is always so hard to make a decision that you know perfectly well would affect other people’s well being as much as your own. I kept praying “Istikhara” night and day, praying to God to guide me to the right thing to do, and I never got the sign I wished for. I think, at that time, God was punishing me by making me lose my way because I was not keeping my faith to heart. But I also think it was the lesson I needed to learn in order to understand more clearly how life works. So 8 months of wishing and praying that something happens, something outside of my control so I could make this difficult decision more easily, but nothing happened. I remember the day I decided to act upon my decision, I prayed to God to stop me if I was doing something wrong, and He didn’t… Elhamdulellah! A few hours later, it was done; all the implications and the pain and confusion was done with. I made my decision and my life didn’t stop, I wasn’t struck down, people didn’t die, and my mother didn’t disown me. I went through the pain I may have caused and it hurt me too. I doubted myself, and I cried, but not for long. Half an hour later, I was relieved. The pain I had caused seemed more like a disciplinary slap on the back of a hand than a gunshot to the gut. The pain I got fired back at me felt like a shot through body-armor; shockingly painful at first, but no injury, not really. And I finally realized what I was supposed to have at heart of any thought I ever had or ever will have: Trust God! Thank God for anything, good or bad. Believe that God will never give us pain except as “Ebtelaa” or a test of our faith. I was failing that test every time, but I finally learned the lesson and passed it, or at least I hope I did. Before that when I was pondering my decision, the thought I kept having was that I need to jump and have someone catch me, someone save me from the fall. I knew for a fact that I needed to jump and was looking desperately for someone to catch me, forgetting that no one will ever catch me except My God! That was the first moment ever I felt completely at peace with myself, balanced, and truly happy. I should have regretted all the delay on my part before finally making my decision, but I don’t. I guess I believe it is part of the process of learning that no matter what happens, God helps those who help themselves, and those who Trust Him. A friend had told me a story about how she let go of everything, knowing that God will be there. She acted based on that belief, and God has not let her down, she went through the rough patch, and got out. She passed the test. She told me her story around 3 months before I made my decision. Maybe she helped me take it and maybe she didn’t. But I know now that I have learned from her to be a little stronger and let go of all the doubts, just trust God.
We all know that we should trust God, but I will be frank and admit, remorsefully, that whenever the reason was not crystal clear, I wondered why certain events took place, just as some people wonder why children have cancer, or why people get sick. We all wonder sometimes, and this is the test of our faiths that we fail so many times, because when we wonder, we do not trust God anymore. We are required as muslims to believe blindly in a few things; one of those things is fate, or how we say it “kada2 Allah wa kadaro”, Which means we are required to believe that whatever happens, it happens for a reason, and that in the end we have to believe that God knows best. We have to trust Him and understand that it all comes down to something good, even if that good thing isn’t visible to us. We are required to be patient and know that the moment we jump, or even get pushed off the ledge by life, when the going gets tough, God will be there and no one else. At the end of the day, it’s all good!
Elhamdulellah!
P.S. In light of recent events, I want to say to all those people who are afraid for their jobs and the economy and their children’s schooling that we are only reasons for God’s will to be done. So stop worrying and trust that God will guide us through this to a better light. If someone loses their job, however unfortunate that is, it is still a test and an opportunity to do something better. The cup is ALWAYS half full. After all, we were able to overthrow Mubarak 
Posts
